Monday, August 25, 2014

doubts...

It's been a while since I posted, so there are a lot of thoughts in my head. Bear with me?
Beggars can’t be choosers, but I’ve given up begging.  

I came across this line in another blog (vestalisnoir.blogspot.ca).  She worded it so succinctly it struck chord with me.  

I’ve given up begging.  

How I want to be that way.  

Previously I wrote the line that “maybe when you get nothing for so long the crumbs you get tossed seem huge”. I still feel that way.  It would explain my feelings towards Casual Guy.  I was going to call him British Guy, but I think giving him the name that was in his online ad is good for me. A reminder.  That I was lonely and wanted someone even for a moment. That I managed to meet a pretty awesome guy.  That being with him feels like nourishment for my starving soul.  But? It’s still a crumb.  

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