Do we ever outgrow feeling left out? I have to admit, it's something that's been bothering me the past while. It's come about in a few ways, from not feeling super buddy-buddy with co-workers at my last job which I just assumed was part of the position I was in, but this even spreads to my friends.
I just found out that last night a bunch of them got together to celebrate the ending of one of my close friend's divorce. I had send a supportive text since I knew he would be in divorce court and he would be having a rough time, and today I ran out and got a small cake with “congrats” written on it, only to find out that everyone else had gotten together last night and partied so hard most don't feel like coming out tonight to our regular wing night at the local pub.
It really hurts.
I sent a “I feel stupid for getting this cake” text to one of my friends who was out last night, and now I'm sure she messaged him because he's sending “Hey! Come out!” texts to me, but it's not the same if he had to be reminded. I don't want them feeling bad for forgetting me, but I also don't want the pity invite.
I've been trying to get over how overlooked I feel, and I've sometimes managed to talk myself out of it, but then something like this happens, and I wonder why I bother at all.
I just feel stupid. Stupid for getting this cake, and stupid for thinking I would be included. It's chocolate fudge, too, which I can't eat, so now I'm at home trying not to feel neglected while pity texts come in and this damned cake sits in my fridge. If I go, I am not in the mood to stay and socialize. If I sit at home, well, it's obvious its because I'm hurt. Rock and a hurt place.
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