in the beginning...

Ah, the maiden post. Almost daunting, if it wasn't for the fact that for years I have debated on starting a blog (considering how I have a perpetual diatribe running through my head). So here I am, after much internal debate, and a plethera of topics I'd like to muse over... and I'm not sure where to start.

I've only recently begun reading blogs. I found one I like about cakes (cakewrecks.blogspot.com/), and after mentioning it to a friend she surprised me with "Well I've had a blog for years". Surprising that she told me, because it's apparently a secret blog. She confided to me that it's a place she is able to discuss things that go on in her life that she cannot talk about anywhere else. Sure, she and I have hash sessions, and are very close, but she said her blog is different. She can say whatever she wants without worrying that it will get back to the people she is talking about without them finding out, and misinterpreting it. She can also speculate to her hearts content, and even gets feedback from people in similar situations. Respecting that, I did not ask for her web address. I think we may all need something like that. A part of us that we keep for ourselves. To an extent. I mean, it is on the internet. :)

Taking that to heart, I began to search for blogs relating to the things going on in my life. Or more specifically, things that are not going on in my life. The biggest ones (the ones I spend most of my time contemplating about), happen to be about relationships. Sure, I have job concerns, education gripes, and family issues (really, who doesn't?) but after some quick introspection, I realized that the thing I concern myself with the most is my complete lack of romantic relationships. Imagine my surprise when a quick search opened up a bevy of information about other people in the same. exact. position. I was gobsmacked. And I'll admit, a little heartened.

Gosh knows how it happened, and I know I'll delve deeply into the topic the more I settle into this html nook, but I can honestly say, here and now, that I have never been on a real proper date, and as a result I have been single my entire life. I am 30 years old, female, and have somehow missed the proverbial boat. (There was a boat?!?!?)

Hours and even days I have spent trying to crack this code. I am not horrifyingly ugly, I think I have a damn good personality, and I am by no means a social leper. I have always had friends who are guys, and am not a wall flower. And yet...

Single. Always a single. So hopefully, here I can muse over the things I have done and not done that have relegated me to this lone position. I have hit highs and lows regarding this, and am now hoping that with some sort of bloggy outlet I can assess what I have done, and what I can do to work on this. Digital therapy, I guess.

So brace yourself if you decide to read this. :)

Cheers.